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60 Phrases Parents Should Never Use For Children
As parents, the way we communicate with our children has a profound impact on their self-esteem, confidence, and overall emotional well-being.
The words and phrases we use can either uplift and empower them or tear them down and leave lasting scars.
Using negative language and comparisons can harm your child’s self-esteem, confidence, and mental health.
Instead, try using positive affirmations, expressing unconditional love, and validating their emotions and experiences.

With that in mind, here are 60 phrases that parents should avoid using with their kids:
- “You’re always doing something wrong”: This phrase is a blanket statement that can make a child feel like they can never do anything right.
- “Why can’t you be like your sibling/friend?”: Comparing siblings can create a sense of rivalry and resentment between them.
- “You’re too sensitive”: This dismisses a child’s emotions and can make them feel like their feelings don’t matter.
- “I’m disappointed in you”: This can make a child feel like they’re a failure and cause them to lose confidence in themselves.
- “You’re not as smart as so-and-so”: Comparing a child’s intelligence to someone else’s can damage their self-esteem and create feelings of inadequacy.
- “You’re too young to understand”: This can make a child feel like their thoughts and feelings are invalid and unimportant.
- “I don’t have time to waste for this right now”: This dismisses a child’s needs and can make them feel unimportant.
- “You’re being dramatic”: This dismisses a child’s emotions and can make them feel like they’re overreacting or being unreasonable.
- “I wish you were more like your friend”: Comparing a child to their peers can create feelings of jealousy and insecurity.
- “Why can’t you be more like (insert name)?”: Comparing a child to another can cause them to feel inferior like they’re not good enough.
- “You’re not trying hard enough”: This can make a child feel like they’re not good enough, even when they’re doing their best.
- “Stop crying”: This dismisses a child’s emotions and can make them feel like they shouldn’t express their feelings.
- “You’re so lazy”: This can make a child feel like they’re not capable of achieving anything and damage their self-esteem.
- “You’re a bad influence on your friends”: This can make a child feel like they’re not good enough and cause them to distance themselves from their friends.
- “Why can’t you be more like (insert name)?”: Comparing a child to another can cause them to feel inferior like they’re not good enough.
- “You’re such a disappointment”: This can make a child feel like they’re not living up to their parents’ expectations and damage their self-esteem.
- “You’re too (insert negative trait)”: This can make a child feel like they’re not good enough and create feelings of shame.
- “I can’t believe you did that”: This can make a child feel like they’ve done something irredeemable and damage their self-esteem.
- “You’re not my favorite child”: This can create feelings of rivalry and resentment between siblings.
- “I wish you were never born”: This is a cruel and damaging statement that can cause lifelong emotional trauma.
- “You’re such a crybaby”: This can discourage your child from expressing their emotions and create a fear of vulnerability.
- “You’re not as smart as your classmates”: This can hurt your child’s self-esteem and create a negative attitude towards learning.
- “I don’t have time for this”: Your child may interpret this as “I don’t have time for you,” which can create feelings of rejection and abandonment.
- “Stop crying, it’s not that bad”: This can create a sense of shame and discourage your child from expressing their emotions.
- “You’re too sensitive”: This can create a sense of shame and discourage your child from expressing their emotions.
- “Don’t be a baby”: This can create a fear of vulnerability and discourage your child from expressing their emotions.
- “You’re not good enough”: Negative self-talk can lead to feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem.
- “You’re too much”: This can create a fear of rejection and discourage your child from expressing themselves authentically.
- “I’m not talking to you until you apologize”: This can create a sense of abandonment and discourage your child from taking responsibility for their actions.
- “You’re always causing trouble”: This can create a negative self-image and discourage your child from taking risks and trying new things.
- “You’re wasting your time”: This can discourage your child from pursuing their passions and interests.
- “You’re embarrassing me”: This can create a fear of failure and discourage your child from taking risks.
- “I don’t care what you want”: This can create a sense of helplessness and discourage your child from expressing their needs.
- “You’re not listening to me”: This can create a sense of guilt and discourage your child from expressing their thoughts and opinions.
- “You’re too old for that”: This can discourage your child from exploring new interests and hobbies.
- “You’re not allowed to do that”: This can create a sense of indignation and resentment thus discouraging your child from taking responsibility for their actions.
- “I’m the boss”: This can create a fear of authority and discourage your child from taking responsibility for their actions.
- “I don’t want to deal with you right now”: Dismissing your child’s thoughts and feelings can make them feel unheard and unsupported.
- “You’re too much trouble”: Saying this can make your child feel unwanted and unloved.
- “I don’t want to hear it”: Dismissing your child’s thoughts and feelings can make them feel unheard and unsupported.
- “You’ll never be able to (insert goal)”: This phrase can discourage your child from pursuing their dreams and goals.
- “I’ll only love you if (insert condition)”: Conditional love can harm your child’s emotional development.
- “You’re not good enough”: This phrase can lead to feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem.
- “I told you so”: This statement can create feelings of resentment and a lack of trust.
- “You’re too sensitive”: Invalidating your child’s emotions can make them feel ashamed and unheard.
- “You’re always so (negative trait)”: Labeling your child can create a self-fulfilling prophecy and negatively impact their self-esteem.
- “I don’t care what you think”: Dismissing your child’s opinions can make them feel unimportant and unheard.
- “Because I said so”: This phrase can create a power dynamic and undermine your child’s ability to understand and reason.
- “You’re just like (insert negative stereotype)”: Labeling your child can create a self-fulfilling prophecy and negatively impact their self-esteem.
- “It’s not necessary for me to explain myself to you”: Dismissing your child’s curiosity and desire for understanding can make them feel unimportant and unheard.
- “You’re always making mistakes”: Criticizing your child’s mistakes can discourage them from trying again and damage their self-worth.
- “You’re the reason for our problems”: Blaming your child can create feelings of guilt and shame.
- “You’re too difficult to deal with”: Saying this can make your child feel unwanted and unloved, and can discourage them from asking for assistance or support in the future.
- “The day you earn your own money”: Using this phrase can make your child feel unsupported and undervalued, as their contributions to the family may not be recognized.
- “You owe me”: Making your child feel indebted can create feelings of resentment and entitlement.
- “If you do this”: This phrase can create an environment of conditional love and reinforcement, where your child’s behavior is solely based on rewards and punishments.
- “You’re making me angry”: Blaming your child for your emotions can make them feel responsible for your well-being and create a negative power dynamic.
- “When I was your age”: Using this phrase can create a disconnect amidst you and your child, which can be detrimental, as they may feel that you don’t understand their experiences.
- “You are so selfish”: Using this phrase can create a negative self-image for your child and make them feel guilty for prioritizing their own needs.
- “You are so smart”: While it may seem like a positive phrase, using this can create pressure and expectations for your child to always perform at a high level and may discourage them from taking risks or making mistakes.

As parents, we ought to be mindful of the words we use with our children. The best way to communicate is to use words that are clear and concise, uplifts, empowers, and supports them, rather than tearing them down.
By avoiding these phrases, we can create a healthier and happier relationship with our children, and help them grow into confident, resilient adults. B
By using positive and validating language, we can help our children build resilience and develop a positive sense of self-worth. Additionally we can create a positive and nurturing environment for our children to thrive in.
In conclusion, as a parent, it’s crucial to be mindful of the phrases you use while communicating with your children.
Using negative language and comparisons can harm your child’s self-esteem, confidence, and mental health.
Instead, try using positive affirmations, expressing unconditional love, and validating their emotions and experiences.
By being mindful of your words, you can help create a safe and nurturing environment for your child’s growth and development.
Using language that is supportive, empowering, and validating can help our children develop a positive sense of self-worth and build healthy relationships.
It is better to focus on the positive aspects of our child’s behavior instead of using conditional language, acknowledge their efforts and achievements, and provide guidance and support when needed.
I am no expert in these kinds of scenarios. But this is so important. I am thankful and glad I grew up in a family where we could all have open conversations about our feelings and needs.
Thanks for your feed back. Parents dont’t do it to harm the kids but someone has to show them the mirror as to where they are going wrong. Once we know where we are wrong its easy to rectify it.
This article is an eye-opener for the parents. You highlighted every possible phrase which they should stop saying immadiately.
Thanks for your feed back.
I am not a parent, so I don’t really have much interaction with children. But I realised that my parents never used these phrases for the three of us at any point in time. I was happy to know that we grew up in a chilled out environment.
Thanks for your feed back.
I am not a parent yet but I can relate to this so much on so many levels. Especially relatives comparing to their kids. Using such negative language creates a bad impact on kids and it will forever haunt them creating issues with their personality and overall growth. You’ve written on an important topic!
Thanks for your feed back.
Eye-opening article! It’s crucial for parents to be mindful of their words and create a positive environment for their children.
Thanks for your feed back.
Wow this is pretty concise thank you for listing it out nowadays we really need to be mindful of what we say
Thank you for sharing this
Thanks for your feed back.
Parents who use negative language creates a bad impact on kids and it will forever haunt them creating issues with their personality and overall growth.
Thanks for your feed back.
Parenting is such a challenge.For me it’s about growing up myself.Kids are way smarter than what we give them credit for and nowadays they know how to manage us rather than us managing them.
Thanks for your feed back.
Dear Ranjita , each one of the phrases that you added in the list were used by parents of our time at every point of time. I really don’t understand what actually they achieved saying so other than ending up emotionally hurting the child. It’s good to be disciplined parent but it’s not good to be dramatic parent to compare with others or to show parents know the best. always. I experienced many of these phrases when I was a child… but I don’t want to utter a single to my child as I know how it pains and how low a child feels hearing that.
Even I had faced it while growing up. In fact 99% of Idian parents are guilty of this. Its time we unlearn and relearn and don’t repeat the mistakes our parents made with us. They did what they had learnt from their parents. It is not the time to stop it especially when our children are exposed to such raw competion out there where education is now business.
Believe or not many of us have heard at-least 5-6 of these when we were kid and that time somehow it affected our confidence also. Comparing your kid with someone else is the biggest mistake modern parents do. So they should read this article.
99% of Idian parents are guilty of this. Its time we relearn and not repeat the mistakes our parents made with us.
This is such a required article. I wish it reaches many people too. I grew up in a generation where parents used some of these frequently because they believed it motivates children to do a better job. Although these are not used much in my household, I have heard and witnessed many parents use them then and even now. This is a much-required article.
I think each one of us has faced it at times as kids while growing up. That is why I felt the need to highlight this point.